But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
