dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
