You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
