We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize