I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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