Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
