Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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