This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
