then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
