I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
