Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize