TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
