Non-Jews are for practice
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
