When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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