when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
