In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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