Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
