So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
