oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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