Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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