We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
