The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
COCAINE IS GR8
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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