I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize