I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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