So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I enjoy the company of your penis
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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