Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I need a beard to bite.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
