Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
