Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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