i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
