my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
