We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
