the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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