I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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