Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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