So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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