Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
