I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i think we sleep fucked last night...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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