Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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