She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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