I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
