Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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