What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
