there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
