Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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