I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
