Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize