3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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