This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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