If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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