508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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