At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
