We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
