On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
