Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
