hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
