the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I touched a dick in church today
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
