Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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