my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
