Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
my liver is dry heaving
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
