I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize