I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
