he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
