I skipped work to stalk him.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
