Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
